Using the Little Details

Click for a closer view of listed areas and details.

Johnny Cupcakes did a great job on the ice cream packages such as the sense of volume. Also, look at the suggested pressed lines in the ends. You get a sense of texture, making the image seem more tangible.

I appreciate that little detail because I do not enjoy reading descriptions that stray from the story too much and disrupt the flow.

For example, in I Robot: To Protect, the amount of detail given to food annoyed me most during a conversation. The narrator stated delight in the person on this date, but her attention was more on the food. Each described bite felt like a tree in my way as I tried to follow the conversation's direction.

Therefore, I try to describe to illustrate a character's feelings or to set the tone. If I describe to help the reader imagine an object, then giving tangible details like Johnny's pressed lines help the reader remember having felt the object before. Kudos to you if your readers feel as if they have held that object without having touched or seen it before.

The only thing I would change in Johnny's image is to make an edge of the package bend. This detail makes the representation less perfect, but more familiar. He wanted perfect symmetry though. Plus the package bend can draw your eye away from the main content.

Thank you to my sister for the Snickers ice cream bar at this moment. Now for ice cream that I can actually experience.

The Best Story Structure

One of my favorite teachers advised to make character development the structure instead of following structure formulas. By page blah blah blah have an explosion.

The class was for screen adaptation, but the advice applies to any story. =) I improved the beginning of a story by working on the characters' journeys and goals.

Another screenwriting teacher did not believe in writer's block. She suggested to check if you strayed from the story's path at one point. Perhaps you put in a scene for its own purpose instead of the whole story's purpose. Sometimes you have to let go moments or lines. Save the draft though because you could try using that scene in another story.

Screenwriter Nicholas Meyer wanted to express his dislike of punk rock music through the time-traveling hero in Time After Time. Meyer had to omit the scene, but he rewrote it in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. I found the well-known scene, but the song was changed:

Done with Poison

This cover shows the long nose bridge
just as described in the book.

I finished Poison by Chris Wooding.

The story is about a girl named Poison who feels alienated in her town even within her family, which now includes a new mother. Her baby sister, Azalea, is one of only two people that Poison is comfortable around. Therefore, when Azalea is kidnapped by the Phaerie Lord, Poison musters courage to leave her home and find Azalea. The result is an enlightening adventure that changes her perspective of the world and her life.

Once I finished the story, I felt satisfaction and uplifted because Poison found her place. =)


WARNING: There are big spoilers towards the end of this post. I will warn you again right before that part.




Throughout the book, the narrator sets up questions for the reader such as:

• Why was Posion's sister taken away?
• What is the significance of the spider Lady's dagger and does it wield a power?
• Who is the Hypotroth?
• How will Poison's story end?

Each answer carries weight in the story.

There were some elements that I have seen before, which happens more as you read more, but the experience did not feel repeated. Now that I think about it, Wooding may have used classic Fantasy elements on purpose. After all, Poison noticed how fairy tales strongly related to her adventure and for a reason!

I agree, Ron.

One of those elements was a giant spider like in
The Incredible Shrinking Man 
(Sci-fi not Fantasy), The Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter. Outsmarting the spider was still suspenseful with some fun. Poison dreaded the Lady of the spider realm more than the spiders. My only repeated experience was that I was grossed out by a giant spider.

When Poison researches the scarecrow, I remembered Pennywise (from Stephen King's IT) in an album. I reread that particular scene for thrills, but by the next two chapters I forgot the scene. Wooding wisely reminds the reader of it during the scarecrow's reappearance.

As I said before, Katniss' attitude in The Hunger Games reminded of Poison, especially when describing their homes. I felt that Poison was for a younger age range than The Hunger Games until the story took a meta twist. =) Middle schoolers will be spellbound by the concept of meta-fiction and even adults will find it intriguing. As a quick definition, metafiction is a story within a story. A new definition I heard is fiction on the process of fiction because it is a story that covers storywriting. I won't say more. Wooding explained it for you in the story.

One problem I had with the book was that some lines sounded too fantastical. I had to reread them to grasp the action and meaning plus those lines were not necessary. When Poison traveled to new places, I ignored these fantastical lines after the first attempt. Sometimes a writer feels pressured to have clever lines, but the words need to flow with the rest. Otherwise readers lose their trance. Newsweek writer Elmore Leonard has stated, "If it sounds like writing I rewrite it."


The rest of this post mentions big spoilers because the scene discussed is close to the story's end. I will not list all details though.


The day after I finished reading Poison, I remembered a scene that struck me as odd for a hero, especially for young audiences. Throughout Poison's journey, she bluffs and taunts threats. With Aelthar, she tried to tone down her attitude, realizing that it can hurt her chances. But when she was stabbed, Poison did not watch her attitude. Had she not learned? Her life was threatened the most at this moment.  Even if she had felt almighty about her new role, Poison should know that her life was still at risk. She saw what happened to Melcheron.

I questioned if Poison should be considered suicidal at this point because she provoked her stabber to strike again, "'Finish it. The last laugh will be mine.'" I understood she was helpless in this moment and hurt badly, but shouldn't she at least want to live now? She had wanted to die before, but her role is different from that point.

I did enjoy the adventure though. And after the last line, I turned the page to a blank one and felt as if I had just experienced magic because the story actually ended at that line. Haha.

What did you think of Poison? How about that odd moment I mentioned?

Beauty in the Familiar

When I edit a story, (like my Machine of Death entry) I refer to Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer by Roy Peter Clark. I refer to it like a checklist of ways to strengthen your writing. The book works for any form of written material.

One concept is to describe something ordinary and familiar as extraordinary.  "...[D]efamiliarization, a hopeless word that describes the process by which an author takes the familiar and makes it strange." Specific details can make the object seem unfamiliar to reader either because of one of the following:

*had a vague image when they read the object's name,
*have not seen the object in person (maybe just on TV),
*or have not notice the object's qualities before.

Here's a microphoto of grains of sand:

See how the familiar can become extraordinary and unfamiliar?  I don't mean for you to put everything under a microscope but think of what objects we overlook and what details make that object.

For more about the photo, click here.

Finished The Hunger Games

I finished the first book of The Hunger Games last week.  It has a dystopic setting, but the story's told as an action adventure. I recommend the book for both readers and writers. =)

In my second story-writing class, I needed more conflicts for the character. The Hunger Games constantly has conflict, which keeps the story going and gives the character Katniss many decisions to make. The book is now an example for me.

I started reading one chapter at a time until some point in the game. I was then reading three chapters at a time. One day as I cleaned my room, I read a section after each time I put something away. I read even before an interview.

When I had three chapters left, I rationed them again. Willy Wonka's reaction to Augustus Gloop's situation is a great way to describe the thrill of reading The Hunger Games:

"The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last." 

(The line is originally from 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea).

Here's an interesting passage from chapter 13 (Small SPOILER):

Where are the Gamermakers driving me? ...To a whole new terrain filled with new dangers? I had just found a few hours of peace at the pond when this attack happened. ...The wall of fire must have an end and it won't burn indefinitely.  Not because the Gamemakers couldn't keep it fueled but because, again, that would invite accusations of boredom from the audience.

Think of a Gamermaker as a writer and the audience as the story's actual audience (Meta!). Katniss is then questioning the writer's direction. Readers would have been bored if Katniss got to rest a whole day at this moment. They want the story to keep moving.

She's also alone at that moment so just like the Gamemakers, both writer and reader want her to interact with the other characters.  We feel sorry for her pain but back to danger and love! I'm curious if the author, Suzanne Collins, intended to draw attention to the reader's self by mentioning an audience. How much pain and drama did you wish upon Katniss and Peeta?

The quoted section also shows writers that they drive their characters into an adventure. Give them opportunities to make decisions and grow. Character growth gives your readers more than suspense and entertainment.

In addition, writers have to push their characters around to view more of the setting and society. Like pushing a cameraman around.  You push to capture more, but the character or narrator is the one recording details.

How was the suspense for you?

Machine of Death vol 2

Last Fall, a sci-fi anthology  of short stories called Machine of Death came out on Amazon.com. The common theme was a machine that predicted your death in a few words on a slip of paper. However, the interpretation of those words is unknown until the death comes true, which it does. Although the topic is death, the tone of some stories can be ironic and humorous.

Overall, the anthology, which is more than 400 pages, shows different aspects of society affected by the death predictions. For example, school cliques form according to death categories and the insurance company suffers. I recommend the book.  My friend got hooked from the first story. A free PDF file is provided for preview.

For the first volume, anyone could submit a short story with the theme. Volume 2 is now open for submissions until July 15! Artists may submit samples to illustrate selected stories. Please pass the word. I hope to submit a story myself. =)

For more information, click here.

But Stories Need to End

My last post discussed story endings in the perspective of a reader and fan. From a fan perspective, an ending can be sad because there will be no more moments of the characters.

From a storyteller's perspective, when does a story reach its ending? A story can have multiple drafts, but when are the edits final?

I have some fine artist friends who laugh when asked if they finished a painting. All forms of art can be revised.  If a writer or artist takes a break from his work, then he may spot a flaw or solution missed beforehand. However, if the creator seeks perfection for his work, then it will never be finished.

The novel The Loser by Thomas Bernhard is about a musical genius (real-life musician Glenn Gould) who sought perfection. He even dies at the piano (happened in the book but not in real life), which the narrator thought was fitting. Although one character is labeled as the loser, the reader is left to question if the other characters found success.

Glenn Gould

If you are interested in reading The Loser...

I have to warn you that the novel has no chapters or paragraphs. The prose is one body of work, and is a stream of consciousness on the history of three musicians who sought fame. The narrator repeats moments, and you will find that he changes his attitude about the moment according to his feelings.

For instance, he says he idolized his friend Glenn Gould, but then later the narrator mentions the same memory with dislike for the man who reached a higher level.  The shift in attitude after new information is revealed or admitted information is realistic and humorous, but the repetition and streaming prose can give you a headache.  You, the reader, have to be ready and have the will to stop.  Otherwise you will be overwhelmed. Perhaps the author Bernard intended the reader to share the feeling of no end with the characters.

The narrator also seeks perfection for a book. He is never satisfied with a draft, and he never creates a whole work. Because the draft is unaccepted, he destroys it and starts fresh.  He doesn't allow himself to improve and develop his skills. A story has to reach an ending for the creator to review the work as a whole and make edits for the good of the whole.

Authors have been embarrassed to read one of their previously published works because mistakes even in the plot were missed or the author felt that the work could have been stronger.  But these authors chose a point to stop and publish their work.  They allowed themselves to move on to other challenging projects or the next installment.  

A character from a TV show develops over a series of episodes instead of learning all the lessons from just one episode. 

Hemingway's iceberg - minimalistic

I mentioned Ernest Hemingway's style in a comment on my post "Personify," but the subject should be blogged. Towards the end of the post I will explain the narration of my comic strip "The Affair."


Hemingway called his minimalistic style the iceberg theory, where only 10% of the information is given.  In a story, he eliminated all that the reader can assume, leaving what the reader could not assume.  Just the essentials, or the minimum, needed to understand the story.  


David Malki, creator of Wondermark.com, has a visual example of this style improving content. The Garfield strip below is redundant through the visual and text. 

Malki states, "the punchline is set up twice and delivered twice." 
Here is Hemingway's theory of just the essentials applied to the strip:

Malki on the strip above: "It allows the reader to connect the dots, and engages them in the narrative.  It leaves room for interpretation, and for Garfield’s true thoughts to only sound in the theater of the reader’s mind."

Without the speech bubble in the first panel, the reader can interpret that Garfield's throwing the ball for fun. As soon as the Odie, the dog, is spotted, the game of catch is determined.  So redundancy killed the humor because all the interpreting work, in a reader's role, is done already, leaving  the reader no reason to linger on the story.  

For more on Garfield, look up Eric Burns who Malki referred to as the one who noted Garfield's redundancy.  Malki has more posts on newspaper comic strips in Comic Strip Doctor. 

In my comic strip project, "The Affair," I intended to state what the reader is less likely to determine on his/her own.  Click the image for a full view.

I never describe the affair mentioned in the title because the reader can interpret the Jack's  interest in the Queen from his shortened distance. If I state that the Jack moved closer to the Queen, then text would be redundant.  Instead I narrate the actions and feelings of the other characters which cannot be easily determined from the visual. The minor characters get their story in the captions because the main story is visible enough.


The next time a story seems to be about nothing check if you, the reader, have interpreting work to do.  


For writing, this minimalistic style is more difficult because the information is all text.  The easier cases are dialogue and description.  Do the character's repeat too much of what the narrator states?  Inner dialogue, thoughts, typically do not need to be repeated in conversation.  Having someone read your story can help to determine what can be assumed and what cannot.

Can you think of an example of this minimalistic style or a story that could use it?

Relearning to Express

I'm taking an art class again after a year and a friend new to art classes is joining me.  I imagined her fresh perspective to art lessons and either realized or remembered this: We learn to see again through art. For example, we need to notice and understand colors, shapes, light, shadow, and depth again in order to capture these aspects.

So with any kind of writing we learn to talk again.